Ask Audrey: A lesbian child may be the latest must-have accessory in the Rochestown path

Sorting out Cork individuals for a long time like

C’mere, what’s the story with thinking Cork is preferable to intercourse. I’ve really reconnected utilizing the town into the previous couple of weeks, walking on during the lockdown and breaking into rips each time Shandon sneaks into view, I’d a be poor for this. It’s the company kid, strolling across the streets that are empty alone together with your ideas and a will of Dutch silver, you’re able to realise what’s crucial in your lifetime. Therefore like can we all agree with a very important factor whenever all this work is over – Cork town may be the fruits once you don’t need certainly to share the footpath with gowls from Carrigaline. Therefore, can you ever ask one of the snobby attorney buddies if you have solution to ban culchies from Cork, forever like? – Dowcha Donie, Blackpool.

I’m with you about this

Many people are saying the air is fresher around Cork because there are incredibly couple of automobiles on the street. It is said by me’s while there is no one up from Bandon to accomplish their ‘bit of shopping. ’ #IsThatSilageOrManure?

Aon sceal? This weekend and get off with our birds i’m a trainee Guard from Dingle, they gave me early release from Templemore and sent me down to Cork to make sure ye lads don’t drive off to Kerry. They’ve been four of us when you look at the one household here in Frankfield, Christ we inform you we’d be bating from the Cork ladies having a dirty stick, they appear to think we’re noise due to our sly accents. Anyway, i’ve a issue utilizing the thing that is cocoon. The thing is, Kerry women can be grand until they hit 60, after which they’d almost have significantly more hair that is facial Paul Galvin. Yeer Cork women do have more design about them and I also can’t inform if a lady is finished 70 or perhaps not? Any hints? – Paid Og Ban Beag, Frankfield agus Dingle.

The Posh Cousin has simply started a podcast targeted at older women that want a sex that is good, it is called In Your desires. We stated, what’s the easiest way to share with if your Cork girl is finished 70. She said, ask if she continues to have among those red Roches Stores bags at home. #TheyAllDo

Now hear this Paddy. Things are rather tight for English aristos that we can’t charge oiks 50 quid to circumambulate our stately domiciles and say ‘hey up, Clive, i’dn’t want to be the main one picking right on up the heating bill right here, chuck. Like myself at this time, now’ Quite. Anyhow, fortune favours the rich and what not, didn’t your guy Varadkar contact me throughout the week by what in my opinion is called a task. Their studies have shown which you filthy Micks have actually stopped listening to stay-at-home warnings from individuals with Dublin 4 accents – evidently they’re perhaps perhaps not English sufficient. Huzzah! That’s where we appear in. Therefore, listen up, the message from Leo and his federal federal federal government is really as follows – there is likely to be no raising the lockdown since you have now been very paddys that are bad. Can you pass that around Cork for me personally? – Lord Edmund D’Servant-Shagger, Wiltshire, to name one of the numerous counties we have.

My relative is really a superb gael councillor, we call him Planning Permission. He was rung by me here to generally share the lockdown. He stated, how’s your mother? We stated, I’m dying to offer me personally a hug. He stated, come on Audrey you don’t want her catching Covid-19. We said, Jesus no, perhaps maybe perhaps not along with her household well well worth 50% of what is was at January. He stated, precisely.

No shortage of friction on our WhatsApp team, Stunning Ballinlough Over-Achievers whom Are happy Now They Didn’t Have children.

I snuck away for a stroll around Atlantic Pond with Leoni final night, therefore we could ask one another passive-aggressive questions regarding loss in revenue as a result of Covid-19. (‘Will you need to aim for the cheaper nose-job now’ – the typical bitchiness you have got together with your closest friend. ) Anyhow this Guard stopped us and asked when we had been both through the household that is same Leoni said we’re really a homosexual few, just like Naomi Clarke-O’Leary had been moving, and didn’t the nosey bitch tell everybody. Now, I’ve absolutely nothing against lesbians – but I don’t want people thinking i will be one either, do you realize that sorts of a method. So just how can I show I’m right, without insulting the gays? –Carina, Ballinlough.

My relative Orla is homosexual, her mom had been devastated until some body shared with her a lesbian child may be the latest must-have accessory regarding the Rochestown path. (It replaced a hairless pet. ) We stated, Orla, exactly exactly what could you state for this Carina? She stated, nothing. We stated why? She stated, I’d choose to shag a guy than speak to some body from Ballinlough. #TheSnobbyLesbian

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Fast one woman. I happened to be likely to keep my boyfriend the good news is he’s got a lockdown beard and I’m as horny that certain who sang I’m horny, horny, horny, horny. He’s like Chris Hemsworth by having a Kanturk accent, I’d be rubbing off him throughout the day and I also don’t even like him! Will there be any remedy for Beard Lust? – Martina, Cloyne.

I became telling girls on Zoom yesterday evening that I became angry for bearded dudes in university. One of them said, did a rash is got by you? We stated, about four to five of these, but none back at my face thank Jesus. #GreatTimes #TheresAlwaysPenicillin

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